Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

  • Alana Mertz PhD
  • September 17, 2024 10:03am
  • 265

Joan Vassos, the star of the new dating show "The Golden Bachelorette," admitted to lying to her family about kissing potential suitors on the program. She shares her reasons and the challenges of dating in the age of reality TV.

Joan Vassos, the star of the new dating show "The Golden Bachelorette," had to keep a few secrets from her family during her time on the program. Vassos, 61, says her relatives were concerned about her engaging in public displays of affection on television.

"They were very adamant about me [not] kissing men on TV and about fantasy suites. So that was like super embarrassing for them," Vassos tells Fox News Digital.

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"But, you know, I said I wouldn't kiss anybody. And we all knew that was a lie. So, oh well!" she adds with a laugh.

Vassos, a grandmother of three, first appeared on the "Golden Bachelor" franchise during last year's premiere season. She says her family was initially nervous about her taking on the role of "The Golden Bachelorette."

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"Nobody really knew what this was going to look like, if it was just going to look like a bunch of old people dating and might not be very dignified or, I don't know, it could be embarrassing, I guess, for them," she explains.

"So, after they saw that it was really portrayed really nicely, and it showed that dating at this age isn't embarrassing, and it could be really fun and, [there were] great personalities of the women. And on my season, the men are amazing. They were a little less worried about me."

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

As "The Golden Bachelorette," Vassos will have her pick of 24 older gentlemen "in the prime of their lives," according to the show's synopsis.

"I am looking for someone who's ready to spend the second half of their life with some adventure. I want to have fun. I want to show on the show that dating is fun and that just because we're a little older doesn't mean that that's out of the question," Vassos says.

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"I also just want like a kind man and a generous person and someone who's going to embrace my family. And I really want somebody who has a family that I can be involved with. So right now, my life is about family, and I hope I find a person that has the same values as me."

Vassos believes that staying active and engaging with her family has kept her youthful.

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"They make you happy. I think happiness is a big part of staying young. And then I have a dog, so I take the dog for a walk a lot. So I'm out like in the fresh air and being kind of active," the school administrator says.

She lost her husband, John, after 32 years of marriage to cancer and credits her family and friends for getting her through the hard times.

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"I had an eight-month-old grandson when John passed away. So, he was like my source of comfort. You just can't be unhappy around a little eight-month-old, to be honest," she says.

The Rockville, Maryland, resident adds that she also has "amazing friends."

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"They wouldn't let me sit around and say, ‘I'm going to not go out for the next week.’ That wasn't allowed. They would come and drag me out of my house. And honestly, staying busy helped a lot. So, you know, you still had your grief. It was there when you got home. But going out and having a little lighter feeling, you know, for dinner or go out for a walk with a friend really does help."

Some of what connected fan-favorite Vassos with Gerry Turner on "The Golden Bachelor" was their shared grief at losing a spouse.

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"We got along great. He did help me kind of in that whole grief journey. I, for the first time, imagined a life with somebody else because that's what you do on the show, like you're looking for life with somebody else. So, you start having these real thoughts like, could this be, you know, would this be something that worked? So, I did actually imagine that I could possibly have a life with him," Vassos says.

Vassos ended up leaving the show early to help her daughter, who was suffering from postpartum depression.

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"Who knows what would happen down the road and if he would have formed stronger connections with other people or maybe our connection, would it end up being just our friendship, which it is now? And he's one of my favorite people. I love Gary, but as a friend, so who knows how it would have turned out? But I think it turned out the way it was supposed to."

Gerry married Theresa Nist in January 2024, but the couple divorced just a few months later, to the surprise of many.

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

Confessions of a Golden Bachelorette: Keeping Kisses Secret to Preserve Family Dignity

"I witnessed their love connection and their journey, and I thought they were a really good match. And that shows you, when you come out of ‘The Bachelor’ bubble, there's still work to be done. And you have to figure out what a life would look like together outside of ‘The Bachelor’ bubble," Vassos says.

"So I'm surprised they didn't make it."

"But I'm also not surprised. I mean, what happens, there's lots of success stories and there's some failures. And I wouldn't call them failures. It's just revelations that happen once you leave ‘The Bachelor’ bubble."

Vassos doesn't think there's a way to avoid the so-called "Bachelor" curse because, "I think it requires work."

"‘[The] Bachelor’ provides therapy, couples therapy. So, if you want to participate in that, I think it's a great idea. I think the time between you leaving, taping, and the time that you can actually be together in public is a really difficult time for a lot of the couples, and that's where it starts going bad. So I think, to maybe do the therapy or to make sure that you're doing something, that you're staying connected in a real way, even though you can't see each other is really important."

That's why Vassos isn't concerned about ending her season with an engagement so much as a real partner.

"I know that this is an amazing opportunity and that I'm never going to have men preselected for me, 24 of them. So I knew this was a great opportunity. And I thought, [it’s] likely that I'm going to find a man that is going to be a good match for me. So, I wanted to come off this show with a person that I wanted to explore a life with outside of ‘The Bachelor’ bubble…date or, figure out what a living situation might look like, what the future might look like with that person, but didn't necessarily have to be an engagement."

"The Golden Bachelorette" premieres Wednesday, Sept. 18 on ABC.

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