Dad Brain vs. Internet Brain: The Battle for Our Children's Sanity

Amidst the chaos of college campus activism, a new force has emerged: dad brain. Tired of the nonsense and outrage, adults are stepping in to set limits and restore some semblance of sanity to higher education.

Columbia University's cancellation of graduation ceremonies due to anti-Israel protests is just one example of the alarming trend of internet brain taking hold of our campuses. This mindset, characterized by a susceptibility to online propaganda and a belief in entitlement, has led to a generation of students who prioritize abstract issues over their own responsibilities.

In contrast to internet brain stands dad brain. This is the voice of reason and practicality, focused on paid bills, changed tires, and vital tasks. Dad brain recognizes the importance of education and discipline, knowing that obsessions with global issues can create anxiety and distract students from their primary focus.

Internet brain fosters a culture of comparison and envy, leading to mental anguish. Dad brain, on the other hand, emphasizes the unique strengths and limitations of each individual, encouraging students to appreciate their own lives and appreciate the simple joys of family and community.

While internet brain offers grandiloquent problems like climate change and global inequality, dad brain reminds students that they have more pressing concerns, such as their phone bills. Internet brain pushes the boundaries of activism, leading to disruptive protests and demands for passing grades without effort. Dad brain sets limits, insisting on hard work, discipline, and respect for authority.

USC's president has recently enforced this dad brain approach, clearing out Hamas cosplay protesters without incident. In Florida, college officials have declared their campuses "not a daycare," emphasizing the importance of order and responsibility. Even SNL has poked fun at the absurdity of campus protests, a sign of the growing backlash against internet brain.

As internet brain condemns fossil fuels, dad brain encourages students to prioritize fuel efficiency. As internet brain promotes bug-eating to save the Earth, dad brain insists on finishing those peas. And as internet brain advocates for trans females in women's sports, dad brain counters with an arm-wrestling match for the car keys.

Dad brain is not merely a party pooper; it is a voice of love and guidance, protecting children from the pitfalls of internet brain. It represents a return to common sense, discipline, and the realization that sometimes, the best way to handle nonsense is to simply lay down the law.