Trusting in Surrender: Lessons in Joy from a Dog and the Grateful Dead

In this heartwarming essay, Mike Kerrigan reflects on the profound lessons he has learned about trust, surrender, and joy from his dog, Sugaree, and the lyrics of the Grateful Dead song "Scarlet Begonias."

In the lyrics of the Grateful Dead song "Scarlet Begonias," Robert Hunter wrote, "once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right." This melodious insight has resonated with me on my journey as a Catholic, teaching me that transcendent truths can be found in the unlikeliest of places and from the most unexpected of teachers.

No lesson has been more strangely-timed, and no instructor more unlikely, than Sugaree, my mini-Bernedoodle. She shares a trait with my father: neither of them abides lollygagging. While my father would task me with hours-long chores, Sugaree has her own way of signaling displeasure when I recline on the couch: she delivers her favorite slobbery tennis ball for me to throw.

Trusting in Surrender: Lessons in Joy from a Dog and the Grateful Dead

Each time, she keeps the ball in her mouth for a moment, resisting dropping it into my hand. I chuckle, wondering why she always struggles as if it's the first time. Is she a budding pragmatist, valuing the ball in her mouth more than two in my hand, or a teleologist who sees the purpose of fetch already achieved?

Whatever it is, after brief cogitation, Sugaree invariably relinquishes the ball. By doing so, she confirms that there is greater joy in surrendering her will to my own. It's a choice each time, but she consistently makes the right decision, followed by joy beyond her imagination.

Trusting in Surrender: Lessons in Joy from a Dog and the Grateful Dead

One day, I realized that I had been smug about my pug, but the joke was on me. I love Sugaree, but no more perfectly than a human can love. Yet with all my flaws, she trusts I'll bring her happiness. In her daily leap of faith, she drops the ball.

How much easier the choice should be for me. I'm loved perfectly by Love itself. My life is a series of opportunities to surrender to God's will. Unlike my pet in her dogged faith, I often cling to the ball. Earthly joy is good, but like the ball in Sugaree's mouth, it pales in comparison to the joy of the world to come.

Sugaree somehow understands the paradox of surrender that lies at the heart of true happiness. It's high time I do too. I don't know when the universe will present its next trippy lesson, but until then, I'll stay close to the dog whose trust in me reminds me to trust in God and keep listening to the Grateful Dead.

In the words of the Dead's "Scarlet Begonias," "Sometimes we live without thinking, but it's just a moment's delight." May we all learn to live with intention, trusting in the wisdom of surrender and embracing the joy that comes from letting go.